City on a Hill

The Substance of Things Hoped for

2005-11-07T14:57:00.000-05:00

I had the privilege this weekend of temporarily leaving my home atop the hill of Steubenville, Ohio to traverse to the ever-barren lands of Carmel, Indiana, a city that suffers horribly from suburban sprawl, but more than makes up for this with it's Catholic presence.

Carmel is the largest Catholic city in Indiana, and the Catholic Church there recently acquired one of the greatest youth ministers in the business. It was my pleasure to head there with some friends from college to help put on the first Antioch retreat for this gigantic parish. As usual with these retreats, I learn something new about myself, and generally flip a wig.

It seems as if God, this time around, really laid it on my heart to yearn for a simple faith, a faith like a child. I had been feeling this mind set waiting to burst out of me for a while, but I had never nurtured it or catered to its needs. However, after Saturday night, I think the tides have finally turned. As I was prayed over at the front of the church, a friend of mine praying said he felt the Lord calling me to a simple faith, a faith that thanks God for the lightswitch and not the light, because the lightswitch gives us light. He encouraged me to look at life through the eyes of a child, but not to do so in such a way that I begin to put my effort entirely in trying, and not at all in faith.

Interesting, I think, seeing as my relationship with God has been mostly through literature and less so through daily attempts to advance myself in holiness.

So here's the shtick. I'm gonna try my hardest to post like a fiend on this blog, but the substance of the posts will more than likely be different. Many of my posts are forced, just to have something to write about. I think my topics for a while will be more simple, but hopefully worth reading. I'm not making any promises, but I think it's time for this blog to be resurrected in an entirely new light.

God Bless!
~the krakowski

Two for One Sale

2005-09-27T17:05:00.000-05:00

It seems as if society lately has tried to make us all homosexual. That's a pretty frank statement to make, I know, but here's why I write it so.

Men and women are referred to as "they" instead of "he" or "she", "theirs" instead of "his" or "hers", and "that person" instead of "him" or "her". There is a degendering happening in which neither man nor woman is seen to have any right to his or her nature. We are no longer allowed to possess a gender.

Man and Woman, due to this mass degendering, feel as though they must have no differences any longer. The woman cannot be a mother; she must be a ruthless tycoon in the business world. Man suddenly has the desire to bear children and to be the perfect housewife. This thought never entered the human mind for many thousands of years, and then in just the short span of time pertaining to the sexual revolution, all that was once sacred has been forgotten.

And, of course, given the fact that men have taken women's roles and women taken men's roles societally, the race we belong to called "human" can no longer distinguish as to which "shadow of a gender" it wishes to submit its love to. Men seek out other men, and women do likewise with each other, explaining themselves away on grounds of "passion".

Picture it this way. Man is equivalent to the variable "M". Woman is equal to the variable "W". Their union is expressed as a new figure, "O", for oneness and completion. These two variables, M and W, both have different values, not in the mathematical sense that one has more than the other, but in the metaphysical sense that M possesses things in common with W, yet has its own distinguishing characteristics that W lacks, and vice versa for W. O can only be produced from the combination of M and W. M completes W, and W completes M, producing O. M + W = O.

What has happened with degendering and equality is that M is seen to be equal to W in such a way that they are no longer distinguishable. Our world is becoming dyslexic. Some feel that M + M = O, or that W + W = O. These are mistakes. This could never be the case, because W and M are both incomplete as it is. What is lacking in men and women is never accounted for with this formula, it is merely doubled!

It is in this way that our world is trying to convert our minds unto oblivion. We have become homosexual with gender (there is only one sex), with equality (there is one way for all sexes to act), and finally, with a false sense of union (there is no reason for two of one sex to be kept from "wedlock").

In my next post, I hope to address solutions to this disbalanced equation.

He's Alive!!!

2005-09-26T22:47:00.000-05:00

Good day to any of you who still check this blog for a pulse....

Yes, I'm still alive, though as of late I've had little or no time to post anything, and when I do have time, I find myself without a subject, which makes writing slightly more difficult.

Update on myself: I've successfully moved into college and have adjusted with haste to the lifestyle. Classes rock, and I finally have a Latin teacher who knows his stuff, which is a refreshing change of pace. I've met a ton of new people and can't remember half of their names. I feel particularly horrible when it's someone I've talked to quite a few times but I still can't remember their name. That's part of life, I suppose.

I pray I'll be inspired with things to write here, and I pray that people are inspired to read this blog, which has been lying dormant for quite some time.

Of course, this is probably the fourth time I've ressurrected it, and it always manages to die rather quickly again. But I can dream, I can dream.

Lookin' forward to your comments!

God Bless!!!
~nate

A Tale of Two Gentlemen

2005-06-13T20:19:00.000-05:00

Once upon a time there were two gentlemen. Let's call one "Chap" and the other "Fellow". Chap and Fellow were superb gentlemen. They would lay down their jackets over puddles for women. If someone sneezed they would say, "God bless you," and if either of them happened to burp, they would say, "Excuse me." Chap and Fellow knew not of each other's existence.

One day Chap finds himself walking into a grocery store, and notices an individual approaching from his right at precisely the same rate of movement and trajectory. Chap quickly calculates that the other individual will arrive at the doorway at precisely the same moment as himself. Chap promptly stops ten paces away from the door to give a clear path to the oncoming fellow. Surprisingly enough, the oncoming fellow was Fellow himself, who also stopped thinking he'd let Chap go on through the door. Chap waived his hand in the direction of the door and politely said, "After you, sir!" Fellow said, "Oh no, I insist you go first!" And Chap again, "No no no no, please go ahead!" And back to Fellow, "Only after you lead!"

Back and forth these two gentlemen went (ever so politely) for hours on end until the supermarket had closed. As they saw the doors close for the final time and lock before them, they turned and walked away.

Allow me to make an allegory of this random-seeming parable. Many of us seek to do things the right way, either morally, physically or mentally (those seem to encompass most actions!), and it could be seen that we who seek what is right in those areas seek to be gentlemen; we seek correctness, politeness, a wise and outgoing attitude, and above all else, we seek charity. If we act, however, too much like the classic gentleman, like say Chap or Fellow, we will find ourselves in interesting straights when we confront other gentlemen. Two charitable, outgoing personalities will clash and wage war, which is not what any gentleman wishes to his neighbor.

An ancient proverb says, "Pride goes before destruction", and never more right has it been! If one chap is too proud to allow charity to himself, then he will make no progress and will hinder his fellow gentlemen in their pursuit of doing what is right. A good gentleman should never be too proud to allow aid to himself, for he should know it benefits himself and his neighbor.

To put it most simply, it is charitable to let others be charitable unto yourself. By being charitable, we earn God's Grace, for charity, or love, is the greatest of His virtues. Ergo, when I let someone loan me five dollars out of the goodness of their heart when I am a few bucks short, not only is their action charitable (for they are helping their fellow man), but mine as well because I present them with an opportunity and allow them to receive God's Grace instead of refusing their money and their good intention.

Hearken now, all you gentlemen! By allowing others to perform good deeds to us, we open up the doors to the kingdom of heaven, that great supermarket in the sky, and we find ourselves standing in the presence of Christ!

Thrice as Nice

2005-06-12T23:48:00.000-05:00

I was pondering the other day (as all good ponderers do), and I began to think of how the devil has enticed this age we live in to follow his malice. It seems ever more prevalent for individuals to look at him as a mystery and not to God as the Mystery that our very being is dependent on. Shows plague our television about the history of hell, the evolution of Satan in history (in terms of his appearance; evil is evil regardless of what face you may apply to it), and sin in general captivating the human person and subconsciously worming itself into the human person's conscious, causing us to be less moral in some cases and downright malevolent in others.

I began to think about how T.V. has used the seven deadly sins to its advantage, invoking almost each and every one of them in any secular program anymore. Against such a battering of sinful attacks, it can be quite difficult to stand as a heavy tree against a strong wind. I asked God what it is that can make me firm, unwavering and unfailing to His calling, and the answer came in three-fold, and with much delight.

The biggest problem we face as humans is sin. Almost all sin (if not all of it) can be categorized as any one of the seven deadly sins: sloth, greed, anger, envy, gluttony, lust and pride. Note the number "seven". Satan believes that he has found the perfect way to trick us all, but he is sorely mistaken.

We, as children of the Almighty God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, have seven times three ways to combat these temptations; we have fourteen good works and seven virtues to aid us in our battle. We have the seven corporal works of mercy: feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, clothe the naked, shelter the homeless, visit the sick, ransom the captive and bury the dead.
We also have the seven spiritual works of mercy: instruct the ignorant, counsel the doubtful, admonish the sinful, bear wrongs patiently, forgive offences willingly, comfort the afflicted and pray for the living and the dead. We have been given as well three theological virtues (faith, hope and love) and four cardinal virtues (prudence, temperance, justice and fortitude).

Here comes the irony. Satan thinks his attack is perfect, but God trumps his seven sins with twenty one spiritual weapons. Remember how seven is a perfect number; three is likewise. The number twenty one can be broken down as seven times three, as stated earlier; God has given us a perfect number of gifts (seven of each) and he has done so a perfect number of ways (three).

The way may be difficult but it is nowhere near impossible with twenty one gifts backing us up. Of course, the battle against sin is not merely contained to twenty one special items for indeed God's love for us is infinite, and thus the ways we can detach and cleanse ourselves from sin is also just as infinite. Having stated that, it is very comforting to note how God arms us for spiritual warfare. The Lord is pleased with His creation, and chooses to resonate His Light within us, keeping us free from the snares of darkness.

Book Meme

2005-06-03T10:07:00.000-05:00

I figured this would be a good way to get back into the swing of posting...

I was tagged for a book meme by Stephen from Being! or Nothingness, so here goes nothing!

1) Total number of books I own: 121 (not bad for an eighteen-year-old!)

2) Last book I bought: Introduction to Christianity by Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger and The World's First Love; Mary the Mother of God by Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen (sorry, I buy and read in pairs).

3) The last book I read was Story of a Soul by Saint Therese of Lisieux

4)Five books that mean a lot to me:

New Seeds of Contemplation by Thomas Merton
Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis
The Life of Christ by Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen
Story of a Soul by Saint Therese of Lisieux
Selected Writings of Saint Thomas Aquinas

5) Tag five people: Erin at Sorry I'm not your Cup o' Tea, Michael at To Oblivion and Beyond!, Michael (no, not the same one) at Shards of a Crystal and Andy at True Nirvana (sorry, can't think of another!).

Faith like a Child

2005-04-12T22:12:00.000-05:00

The disciples approached Jesus and said, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" He called a child over, placed it in their midst, and said, "Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:1-3)

This past week at my workplace has been really interesting. For those of you who know me, you have undoubtedly seen the rather large St. Benedict's Cross that I wear around my neck. At work, I wear it outside of my apron, and recieve a constant flow of extremely diverse comments (some good, some not so good).

Out of all the things said to me about my cross (either that I'm brave to wear it out for the world to see, or that I'm a fool for doing so), I think my favorite reaction is that of the child.

No words are ever spoken; the child's eyes say it all. As I pack plastic bags full of groceries, I often catch tiny, wandering eyes stop and stare at the crucifix around my neck. Eyes that previously bounced everywhere around the busy checkout area of the grocery store now find a place to rest: on the Sacrifice that won for us Eternal Life. Nothing makes my heart flutter more when that child who beholds the crucifix then proceeds to belt out the biggest grin any human would ever see, and continue to just gaze at the cross.

How amazing it would be if we could all share this reflection on life with the children. So much amazement, awe, and peace lye in the eyes of the child. How awesome it is that one so small comes to see an image of Christ and his eyes lock upon it, with nothing but an expression of joy visible upon his face. How amazing!

Be Not Afraid

2005-04-03T12:47:00.000-05:00

There is a pounding on the magnificent doors of St. Peters Basilica at the onset of the year 2000 Jubilee midnight Mass.

KNOCK

KNOCK

KNOCK

Slowly, the heavy, sealed doors of the church begin to open. As they separate further, they begin to reveal the frame of an elderly man robed in many colors, most primarily a brilliant white. The frail man begins his entry into the Basilica.

Who would have believed that this Polish lad would have wound up pope one day? With a love for the games of hockey and soccer, Karol played the sports feverishly. Soon, however, the Nazi regime seized control of Poland and Communism was set as the law of the land. Life changed forever for Karol Wojtyla. Karol was forced into labor at a local stone quarry and then later in a chemical plant to avoid being sent to Germany. While the war lasted, Karol studied underground for the priesthood. Shortly after the end of the war, on November 1st, 1946, Karol was ordained a priest. A few days later he left for Rome to begin his advanced studies.

Karol Wojtyla was ordained auxiliary bishop on July 4th, 1958. Two years later, his book Love and Responsibility was published. On January 13th, 1964, auxiliary Bishop Wojtyla became the Archbishop of Krakow, Poland. Attending all four sessions of the Second Vatican Council, Archbishop Wojtyla became an advisor of Pope Paul VI and aided the pope in his writing of Gaudiem et Spes, a papal encyclical on the Church in the Modern World. Pope Paul VI appointed Karol Wojtyla to the position of Cardinal on June 28, 1967.

After the death of Pope Paul VI, Karol Wojtyla participated in the election of the next pope, John Paul I. Only a month later, however, John Paul I unexpectedly passed on, and it was once again time to elect a new pope; the college of Cardinals would convene again.

Cell 91 was opened; The 58 year old Polish Cardinal was to be the new pope. On October 16, 1978, Karol Wojtyla emerged from the Papal Palace taking the name John Paul II.

"Be not afraid." The first three words of Pope John Paul II's papacy; have no fear. Truly, he lived such a lifestyle. In 1981, an assassination attempt was executed against the Holy Father. The bullet from the assassin lodged inches away from the Pontiff's heart. The Pope was physically weakened by this attack, but not shaken. Pope John Paul II had the love to forgive the one who attempted to take his life. Mehmet Ali Agca's life was forever changed by the love of a pope, a love that John Paul shared with his Creator.

John Paul II championed social issues such as communism, abortion, euthanasia, corporeal punishment, and the sanctity of marriage to name a few, caring for each and every human being in each and every walk of life. The pope stared in the face of Communist Russia and did not break. Nay, he did not even bend. Writing letter after letter, the Bishop of Rome had planted himself firmly on the issues of popular society, promoting life in every circumstance, and working to preserve the holiness of wedlock.

Many have said that Pope John Paul II has broken the mold; that he had out done himself. Truly, he had lived a life full of praise for God, the Trinity, and a life of devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary.

Through his example, many have been able to bring their pains and burdens to the foot of the cross. Struggling with Parkinson's disease, every day would surely be full of its own anguish. Yet personal affliction only meant fulfillment to a man who could take his pain and unite it to the passion and death of Jesus Christ.

Every day was a journey for the lovable Pope. John Paul II had traveled more than 120 times and was known as the "Pilgrim Pope". The Holy Father had been the first pope to travel to several countries, including Cuba, and the first pope to enter a Jewish synagogue and a Muslim mosque. John Paul II stressed ecumenical acceptance of all people, regardless of their faith. The pope had such a love of the youth, setting up many occasions in which he could celebrate with them, and constantly offering his wisdom to empower the young to truly know and love their faith and their God at every available moment.

On Saturday, April 2nd, the Servant of the Servants of God, the Holy Father, Pope John Paul II was called home to his Creator. Amongst the hosts of angels and saints, the Pontiff will assuredly open doors much larger than those belonging to the Basilica of St. Peters.

Before passing, the pope had written on a piece of paper, "Do not cry for me. I am happy, you should be happy, too!" As the pope breathed for the final few times, he said one last word, the only word any life that truly was a living prayer should be ended with: "Amen."

Pope John Paul II, Pray for us. (May 18th, 1920 - April 2nd, 2005)

Alleluia! Peace on High!

2005-03-26T23:14:00.000-05:00

Give thanks, all you children of God!
The Lord, Jesus Christ, has risen from the grave!
Death has no power over the Lamb!
Sing praises, you faithful, sing praises!
When all virtue, all goodness, seemed lost,
Indeed, it found new Life, Eternal Life!
Weep not this day, but rejoice!
For us, the Way has been paved and all doubt cast out!
The Truth has prevailed over falsehood!
Wipe the tears from your eyes and dance,
For today, the Lord is RISEN!

Alleluia, Alleluia!
AMEN!!!

A Student's Prayer

2005-02-22T23:01:00.000-05:00

This is probably by far the most thorough and thought-out prayer I'ver ever laid eyes on! I hope many blessings may come your way through the use of this novel blessing!

Now I lay me down to study;
I pray the Lord, I don't go nutty.
And if I fail to learn this junk,
I pray the Lord, I do not flunk!
Amen!

A Lenten Prayer

2005-02-20T12:38:00.000-05:00

You, O Lord, I betrayed with a kiss.
You, O Lord, I spat upon.
It was You, O Lord, whom I raised my whip against.
You, O Lord, were the one whom I crowned with thorns.
It was You, O Lord, whose hands and feet I drove nails through.
You, O Lord, I raised high on a cross.
And still, O Lord, as You looked out upon the world You created, I was on Your mind.
Still, O Lord, You loved me despite my ignorance, despite my contempt.
And because of You, O Lord, a sinner has found Hope, a sinner has found Heaven.
My God, over these fourty days of Lent, I offer myself to You as never before to act as You acted, to serve as You served, and to love as You loved.
I humbly submit myself to You Whom I praise above all else, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Amen.

Service Clerk Un-extraordinaire!

2005-02-20T00:00:00.000-05:00

As a "service clerk" at a local grocery store, I have the opportunity to bag groceries for some of the nicest people in my area. Of course, personalities are a two-way street, and I also have the opportunity to serve some of the rudest, snottiest, most impatient people on the face of this earth. It is just recently that I have learned I love every minute of this mind-boggling job, most especially when I serve the customers who aren't too thrilled to be at a grocery store late on a Tuesday night because they have nothing to eat.

In past times (a few months ago), those people who really tested my limits seemed more to make me angry, and I would refuse to give them customer service to the fullest. I would become as angry and short-tempered as them when I bagged their groceries, fetched their carts, or cleaned up their messes. Lord knows, somebody's got to do that, but why in the world should it be me?

Now, I can look back at my demeanor and laugh like crazy, for it is now that I realize the error in my way of thinking!

I was reading through a bit of the Catechism of the Catholic Church, and the very first part of it struck me like an over-weight boxer. Man is created to know, serve, and love God. This may seem basic, but given my tendency to mull things over in my head, I came to the conclusion that my job, serving some of the lowliest people in Northern Indiana by becoming lowlier than them, is indeed a blessing!

To most effectively know, serve, and love God, one must take into account Jesus' two commandments: Love the Lord, your God, above all else; Love your neighbor as yourself. There's that condition again: love God.

One must be thinking now, how does one truly love God? I say that loving God blossoms from loving others, Jesus' Golden Rule. How hard, at times, it may be to love one's neigbor. Certainly at Martin's Super Market, I wouldn't feel like bending over and hugging the person that completely obliterated a display of pickels that I now have to clean up. Rather, I'd feel like ranting and raving, getting into their face, and in general just making a scene! But that's not what Jesus calls any of us to.

In order to be a service clerk extraordinaire, I need to realize that I'm not extraordinary. I need to humble myself to bend over and do the dirty work every now and then. It is by serving others and taking on the lowest of all tasks that I serve God and that I can come to know God and to love Him most fully. Jesus Himself did something even the lowest servants did not have to do: He washed feet. If my Savior can do such a thing, why should I be exempt?

City on a Hill

2005-02-17T18:09:00.000-05:00

Alright, here's my new blog! I decided to change my title and build this new theme because inspiration hit me and left a rather large bruise smack dab in the middle of my face.

City on a Hill is to me this (to put it most simply): Rome; Los Vaticanos. The center of the Roman Catholic Church, the Vatican itself is a city (heck, even a country!) entirely on a hill! But ah, there's more! Each one of us is called to be a city on a hill, for a city on a hill cannot be hidden (Matthew 5:14)! We are called to live boldly in our Faith journey, to not hide what is right, to not submit to what is wicked! When we act to shine in the Light of Christ, all will come to see and know the Truth!

I hope you enjoy the changes and what not... I will be adding some new things to the side bar.

The Saint of the Month and the Quote of the month will remain, they will now be in the side bar. In addition, i will be adding something called "Read it and Reap!" (cheezy, i'm aware...) This new item will be updated weekly and will include a new verse from scripture to explain the faith or for meditation purposes.

Along with that, I plan to write more posts on the topic of Apologetics, explaining why something is the way it is within the Catholic Church. I will still, however (despite many complaints), continue to post really stupid random things... like my nerd score...

Once again, enjoy!

God Bless!

March for Life, Washington, DC

2005-01-26T20:53:00.000-05:00

I recently had the privelage to attend the annual March for Life in our Nation's capitol this weekend. It was a fun trip, but even more so, a rewarding experience.

On the five days I was absent, I battled frigid temperatures and blizzards, uncomfortably long van rides, illness, along with all the attatched aches and pains of each experience. And I must say, I would not have traded any of this for the world!

In such a historical part of our nation, I could see our roots: all the beauty, and all the struggles. I saw places where many executive decisions were made; decisions to start war, to free slaves, to declare all people equal, and decisions made to protect every American.

The patriotism was bubbling over within me; every five minutes, in my mind I would repeat the words to "Glory, Glory, Halleluja". Yet something was missing, and I knew exactly what it was.

All this respect for each and every American issued out of every pore in the city, but one "group" of people remained unfit for protection and equality, the least among us, the children in the womb.

On this March, through what I experienced and I'm sure what others experienced as well, the fruits of all Pro-Life advocates could really be seen. All throughout the massive crowd of marchers, "life" was the word on everyone's lips. Prayers poured forth so thickly into the air that you could feel them and their intensity. The very words of the Rosary seemed to issue out a warmth all of their own. Pictures and posters as abundant as the hydrogen in the atmosphere screamed forth with fervor the fact that the fetus is indeed a person! How amazing, that all these people could gather under one voice, as one nation, one people, to march for a common cause!

As we stopped in front of the Supreme Court, our destination towards the end of the March, the group I was with stopped for prayer. Words rang through my head from the Mass at the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception: Within my lifetime, I believe I will witness the end of abortion. Such faith, such assurance it takes to make such a claim, but our God is a Mighty God who will not ignore the prayers of His children.

Next year I hope to return to Washington to March again for life. Next year, however, I hope to march in celebration of Life's Victory over death.

Bow Before My Geekdom!

2005-01-17T14:57:00.000-05:00

I wasn't expecting to score that high... a 98... man, I'm a freak... I thought the questions asking how many friends I had and what I did on Friday nights would lower my score... I guess not.

Are you nerdier than me? Take the test and find out!

Saturday, January 8th, 2005: A Day That Will Live in Infamy

2005-01-10T09:30:00.000-05:00

Ahhhhhh... But six months left before college, and nothing has weighed more on my mind than what it is I may be called to as a vocation. Priest? Teacher? Married? Single? Who knows? I am here to let you know that I now do, and it is quite interesting how this revelation was unveiled...

Before we began preparations for this past Antioch retreat (a locally owned and operated slammin' youth retreat for highschool/college-age students) I had an unusual dream. I was at St. Pius rectory, a building I'd never entered at the time, yet I knew that's where I was. I sat at the dining room table with Fr. Dan, a local priest. On the table was a puzzle, millions of pieces all over! Fr. Dan and I took seat at the table, putting the puzzle together merrily (and quite quickly, I might add, for the number of pieces). But alas, when we had finished, there was one piece missing; the puzzle was all but complete. This piece, belonging in the lower left corner, was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly, after much searching, I found the piece at the leg of the table, and I put it in place, much to the delight of myself and Fr. Dan, for the picture was marred without it. I looked at the picture before this piece was found, and its image was undecernable to me; I could not make out the images on this puzzle. But after this puzzle was put together, I came to see what these pieces together made up, a mass host of people, whos faces I could not see before. I saw my parents and my brothers, my grandmothers and grandfathers (whom I've never met), my friends, and other people from school. More remained, however; There were faces in the picture that I, in reality, had never seen. But in my dream, I knew these faces; they were all familiar to me, all people I had known as long as I could remember. Yet one individual remained hidden to me; there was one face that I could not see.

This dream seemed odd to me and was promptly pushed to the deepest depths of my memory a week after it had been dreampt.

Soon thereafter, classes began at my highschool and retreat preparation started. I was enrolled in Fr. Dan's theology class for this semester, and I was insanely pumped to start digging into some great Catholic literature. It seemed as though from the very start that the class was focused on knowing one's self. I fool-heartedly thought that I knew myself as well as I ever could. Deep inside, however, I knew this was the farthest thing from truth, and I was well aware I had much to learn.

As time always has never missed a beat, so my life moved forwards. The semester began to reach its end. Another amazing Antioch retreat was under my belt, and I was again a different person for having attended.

In Fr. Dan's class, we began reading Till We Have Faces by C. S. Lewis. ("It's like candy!") How much this reading would change me, I did not know, though looking back, I do not complain. I won't bore you with the details (for fear that I have already accomplished that), but this book inspired a change in my thinking.

The main character of this book, Orual, comes to the revelation that we cannot see God "till we have faces." As odd as it may sound, and as many meanings as that may have, I took that tidbit to heart.

At work, I began to look at customers as souls with faces, searching for the same thing as myself, and not as annoying, demanding spend-thrifts who at times seemed to delight in making my life a veritable hell. I began to see their faces, who they truly are (for it is said "the face is the measure of the soul"). Little did I know that all the while, I learned more of myself than I did of them.

And it happens that, on Saturday, January 8th, 2005, somewhere between 8:30 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. (or perhaps that entire time, who knows?), everything fell into place.

I sat in the confessional during Adoration listening to advice that would shed new light on an old campaign. It should come as no surprise to those of you who know me well that I suffer from being excessively sarcastic (to the point that I'm sure I've offended people). This was, of course, not amongst the least of my thoughts as I confessed, and it came out in conjunction with my pride, sometimes frustrated demeanor, and impatience.

Fr. Brad, a Franciscan priest, slipped a key into the lock on my heart, for it was in that confessional that I learned an amazing lesson about life. I learned that my search to know other people in a deeper manner than "just other people" had indeed brought me to know myself. It was in this instant that a thought as random as anything ever has been entered my head: You're that person whom you couldn't see in the puzzle! As this thought entered my head, my jaw must've hit the ground. I'm unclear as to what made it pop into my head, as I remember very little about what happened in the confessional. I know, however, that this seemingly random dream which I thought to have no importance came back in full-force to prove me wrong. Just as spontaneously as it came the first time, so it came the second time. At once I recalled the puzzle with perfect clarity, this time not a single face indestinguishable, and that missing face had been mine all along.

Thoughts from Fr. Dan's religion class poured back into my head. I knew I had not found who I am entirely, but I had found my face. At that moment, as easily as all this came to be so it easily concluded, I realized that I am to be a priest.

You're Killin' Me, Smalls!

2004-12-23T02:25:00.000-05:00

I need to write a book or something... My posts are way too long on this blog, I have a feeling that I lose half of the two people that read this blog everytime I post... This is an apology for the long posts, please forgive me, but I do ask that you read them. Alot of thought goes behind each one, they're not just random sputterings I create from wastelands within my mind. I will, with the exception of the "I AM" posts, try to make my comments short and to the point. The "I AM" topics are going to, naturally, need a bit more room to breathe, and thus will be lengthy, but please read them!

That being said, any of you people who read this (all two of you, but others are invited to as well! I assure you I don't have rabies!), if you would like me to explain some article of Catholic faith, post it in a comment, and I'll get to writing a response ASAP!

God Bless you all!

"I AM"

2004-12-22T23:58:00.000-05:00

Don't be alarmed, you who know that God's Name is "I Am Who Am", I am not attempting to put myself in His place. Rather, I'd like to propose a question, one that many people ask, but also one that the bullet is most often dodged on. I've read many an item of people asking themselves whether or not God exists. The conclusion, which requires much information to reach, is short and to the point, and though there are not very many results (three general results as far as I can see), each one is drastically different than the other.

All of the data that one gathers will lead him to believe: 1)Yes, there is a God; 2)No, there is no God; 3)I don't have the slightest iota of an idea.

I'm going to take the question out of the proposal and go straight for the jugular. It seems that asking the question implies a lack of certainty in most cases, so I will remove that uncertainty. Yes, there is a God. DY-NO-MYTE!!! Cat's out o' the bag, folks (though if you couldn't have guessed that's what I was going to say based on the very title of my blog, I feel for ya...)!

Many a reader is probably thinking to themselves right now, "Man, this fella is pretty darn arrogant!" I must say that if you are rolling that thougth through your mind, based on what I've written, I'd have to agree with you. This brings me to the point of this post: Not to say that God exists, but to show you (the reader) why I (the writer) believe it to be so. If you care to bear with me, keep your arms and legs inside the blog at all times, it's going to be a bumpy ride...

My first piece to contemplate is one that I rolled over at a very early age in life, only to discover that many people had thought about this way before my time. The very fact that this earth exists, and that it can be so complex, is a testament to God and His Brilliance! It is ludicrous to believe that some piece of matter always existed. Something (or someone!) had to create it. The Big Bang theory misses that bit of info. It's all well and good that the matter which makes up our Earth collided together with other large bodies of matter creating a celestial neighborhood of houses, but what is missing is what created that matter.

Of course, the logical argument against this is the theory of relativity, proposing that the universe will expand out so far before collapsing inwardly upon itself and creating another "big bang". But, alas, science has proven itself wrong, and the theory of relativity is odd and outdated. The universe has been seen to be outwardly expanding to no end; it shall not collapse inward upon itself. Ah, but if matter will not come back in and "bang", then something had to create it to begin with; matter had a beginning! What's more, matter had a mover, an unmoved mover. Something (or someone!) had to create the substance which we live on, and put it in it's outward movement.

We can see, with this proposal, that an Intelligent Designer is needed. Should creation be attributed to the dumbest of all substances? Raw elements, having no Gift of Life, no Gift of Intellect, no Gift of Reason, are to be solely what created us? By mere chance, everything just happened to go alright and Man came into Creation? Many millions of things could have gone wrong (too much of one chemical in the atmosphere, and we'd not be able to breathe, amongst other things), but for some reason, the one and only way that works is the one that is found to be existent? Mere chance of elements falling into place? I think not! Let me put it this way: A jigsaw puzzle is essentially a picture cut up into obscure, interlocking pieces. When all the pieces are put in the proper way, the outcome is utterly beautiful! But how many times can any of us say that we opened up a puzzle for the first time and just dumped it out, and voila! all the pieces magically fall into place!?! Can't say that's ever happened to me, but if you've experienced that, let me know, I want your autograph! Pieces in a puzzle don't magically fall into place, but rather, they're put there. Someone has to put the intricately designed pieces together so that the puzzle, in all its brilliance, can be completed. Each piece is cut special so that it will only work if attached to the proper complements. Just as a puzzle, detailed and complex, requires a Person to put it together, so also does the cosmos require a Designer to place each element with its complement in order that the bigger picture may be achieved. And just as the puzzle can only be fit together one way in order to achieve its goal, so also the world was fit and designed one way, so that we may be here; not one piece is out of place, everything fits snuggly.

God, the Unmoved Mover, the Intelligent Designer, the Father, is seen existent upon these grounds. You may think now that I am well finished and that I have no more to say, but I intend to post still more pieces to this puzzle, at least two more additions for my case. Stay tuned!

How The Grinch Found Christmas

2004-12-06T19:46:00.000-05:00

The book or cartoon "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" is very popular this time of year, and for obvious reasons! Christmas is right around the corner, and all is not well. Insanity is blossoming in all major shopping centers as customers engage in fist fights to claim the rights of the last talking Elmo doll. Families bustle to prepare their homes for company and, just as important, for feasting. Mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, aunts, uncles, third-cousins-twice-removed, and every other obscure relative search high and low for the single best gift ever. In this great time of festive hullabalo, it's very easy to lose sight of what this season is all about.

At the apex of "How the Grinch Stole Christmas", the Grich has a revelation.

And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow, Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so? It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags!" And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! "Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

*Gasp!* In just one short paragraph, the Grinch has managed to discover something that takes many people lifetimes to come to understand. Presents, food, friends, and family are all important and very enjoyable, but they're not the reason for Christmas.

As the Grinch said, Christmas doesn't come in bright ribbons or colorful wrapping paper. Christmas came in something much greater. Christmas came in Christ and continues to come in Him.

Christ came in a manger, not a cardboard box with devilish twist-ties all along the back. Christ came wrapped in swaddling clothes, not in fancy wrapping paper or ribbons. Christ shared His first Christmas with an Ox, an Ass, and some strange shepherds, along with His mother and father.

It is important and necessary for us all to remember this season that Christ is the reason we celebrate. Take this time of Advent to prepare yourself, heart and soul, for Christ's coming. Enjoy the festivity and the spirit of the season, but enjoy Christ and celebrate for Him above all!

Good Bread

2004-12-03T09:37:00.000-05:00

I thought I'd share with you all something that struck me from the Gospel reading at Mass on Wednesday, December 1st.

Gospel
Mt 15:29-37

At that time:Jesus walked by the Sea of Galilee,went up on the mountain,
and sat down there. Great crowds came to him,having with them the lame, the
blind, the deformed, the mute,and many others. They placed them at his feet, and
he cured them. The crowds were amazed when they saw the mute speaking,the
deformed made whole, the lame walking, and the blind able to see,and they
glorified the God of Israel.

Jesus summoned his disciples and said,"My heart is moved with pity for the crowd,for they have been with me now for three daysand have nothing to eat. I do not want to send them away hungry,for fear they may collapse on the way." The disciples said to him,"Where could we ever get enough bread in this deserted place to satisfy such a crowd?" Jesus said to them, "How many loaves do you have?" "Seven," they replied, "and a few fish." He ordered the crowd to sit down on the ground. Then he took the seven loaves and the fish,gave thanks, broke the loaves,and gave them to the disciples, who in turn gave them to the crowds. They all ate and were satisfied. They picked up the fragments left over – seven baskets full. (Emphasis added)

The area I emphasized seems to me to be a precursor of the Eucharist. It is delightful that Jesus gives us the Bread of Life, Himself, in the Eucharist before we depart to take on whatever may lie ahead on the road to Heaven.

He says that He does not want to send us away empty, hungry, longing for something, so He gives us Himself for fulfillment, nourishment, and completion. He fills us with Himself so that we may be prepared, so we may have strength that only He can provide so that we may not collapse on the way.

We are sent on after the Mass to continue the good work of Christ, and what better way to go than full of Life, nourished by the Saviour?

Different Look... Same Great Taste...!

2004-10-24T21:51:00.000-05:00

Ok, so you may be thinking to yourself, "HEY! This isn't the same blog i'm used to! It's decked out with all the pretty bells and whistles now!"

I felt it necessary to give the blog a bit of a "face lift", make it look more interesting and what not... The grays and blues were boring, so i swapped them for reds, greens, and oranges... Most of all, there are more links, and I've added a bunch of new little things, for instance, the three links at the top, along with the quote and saint of the month, and about five million more links in the links sections.

This is no longer "just a blog," this is a blog on steroids! I do hope you enjoy the changes!

God Bless!
~rebirthflame

Literary Goodness

2004-10-23T01:54:00.000-05:00

I have earned a nickname for myself, "Barzan." (Long story... ugh... Haha!) Out of curiosity one day, i decided to Google the name Barzan. I found some pretty funny quotes penned by a man named "Gerald Barzan". They are not funny in the sence that they're drop dead hysterical, but rather because they are so freakin' stupid it is almost a shame to laugh at them! I do hope you enjoy these obscure bits of someone elses knowledge... (Does that remind anyone of anything else, maybe? Like, for instance, this blog!!!)

Gerald Barzan's Stupefying Quotations

Suuuuuure, You Can Have a Jet Ski!!!

2004-10-21T09:18:00.000-05:00

I'm sure at some point and time within your life (most likely when you were young, but you never know), you've asked your parents for something like a million dollars or a jet ski or a big pile of cookies and sugar, and you've recieved that sarcastic response, "Sure you can...! When Hell freezes over...!" There is something about this phrase that just makes the vocalizer of it's paralyzing words drop to the floor and cry they laugh so psychotically, and the one violated by it's misgivings just stares in awe and amazement that they could have fallen for the oldest trick in the book.

But ah! I provide for all of you who have been shamed by this cliche the response to make that will earn you the last (and most pleasing) laugh of all!

Simply note to the speaker that in Dante Alighieri's Inferno, Hell is frozen over, and this book was written many ages before that silly cliche ever dreampt about coming into creation. You will slackjaw the person with whom you converse, and become one of the most formidably witty people ever to grace the earth with your sarcastic presence!

If I Become Miss America, I Would Work For...

2004-10-21T09:00:00.000-05:00

"World Peace!" Don't get me wrong here, I do not regularly think about becoming Miss America, nor has that thought ever come to being within my mind.... Although I did get an interesting letter in the mail once upon a time asking me if I'd like to compete to become Miss Indiana... Most Confusing, seeing as my gender does not quite pay the rent in this regard... haha...!

As generic as the answer "world peace" may be, it is quite a noble thing to ask for, if your intention is true and pure. Obviously, in Miss America Pageants, the goal is to be as cutesy and lovable as possible, but just imagine if every one of those girls decided to actually go out and spread world peace... Even if it's only fifty people, that's fifty more people workin' than ever before!

Peace is only necessary because of all that is wrong with our over-zealousness with pride. Many times, our pride inflates us to the point that we feel stronger than others and more powerful, and then our pride will easily push us to test out how strong we are, so that we may know how powerful we are. People become so enveloped within themselves when they do this that they lose sight of every other person who is effected by their decision.

The only way to combat this over-inflated ego that wills to dominate is with Charity. We are in the midst of spiritual warfare every day, between the forces of Light and dark. We ourselves are soldiers in this war, without even knowing it many times. (Of course, now you all know this, so the surprise is gone... ) Our choices are our weapons in this battle. We can choose charity, love, kindness, generosity, self sacrifice, or we can choose pride, greed, the will to dominate, zeal for an unjust cause. Luckily enough for us, we have the aid of the Spiritual realm, we have the aid of God's warriors, the angels. Asking for their intercession in this war is necessary to make any sort of gain.

Work for Charity, to love as Christ loved, through giving selflessly of yourself to others for the benefit of all, pray with all your heart and soul to God, asking for the intercession of His angelic choir and holy Saints, and peace will come, slowly but surely.

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

2004-09-23T21:48:00.000-05:00

First and foremost, I'd like to apologize for the great lapse of time since my last post... Time seems to be working against me as we speak, and needless to say, there isn't enough of it... Oh how I wish I could bilocate right about now... St. Padre Pio, pray for me... :)

Ok, now to the topic...

If you answered "no" to the question at the title of this post, let me explain the position that I'm coming from, and I hope you may reconsider... Darkness, to me (and to most people), is an absence of Light. Darkness is a state of doubt, of unknowing, of a lack of confidence, and I think that truly we should fear all of that. Most of all, however, darkness is a state of life without God. Jesus tells us that He is "the Way, the Truth, and The Light." Jesus is the One that brings Light to the world. Without Him, a person cannot see clearly or rationally. Without Christ, everything becomes bleak.

But ah, how wonderful a life with even the smallest light is! To be able to See, no matter how little, is a wonderful feeling! For so many of us, to See is to Know. I know that for myself, being blind would be one of the biggest challenges, especially now for me, because I, like most people, have become accustomed to learning or finding Truth through what we can perceive with our eyes.

Jesus gives us this gift of Sight with our Baptism, and continues to make our light brighter through the other Sacraments, through personal prayer, through Scripture, and also through those around us every day. This divine gift of Sight is different yet the same as the earthly humanistic gift of sight that we're all used to. They are the same in the respect that Sight in both cases leads us to yearn for Truth, or in many cases, to find Truth. However, the spiritual Sight that we receive is so much more important for us than our earthly sight. We can see anything we want here, but unless we truly See it, with the Eyes of Christ, we will never truly find Truth.

What is better then, to See, to be able to find Truth, or to be blind, to live in darkness and the obscurity that pours from it? Darkness, like sin, is obscure. We are all designed to search for Light, for Sight, for Truth. We are made to share that Light with others so that they may See, and so that they may find Truth. Even the smallest candle casts out the greatest darkness. Keep your Light burning brightly, and be that beacon of Faith to all those around you!

Witness to the Word

2004-08-17T14:45:00.000-05:00

This past Sunday, some friends of mine and I went to Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio to have a great time just hangin' out and, of course, to ride some insane kick-butt roller coasters. When we arrived, those of us that hadn't pre-purchased our tickets got in line to buy them. Suddenly, a man approached us offering us four tickets at the sum of $15 dollars a piece. I looked over the ticket, and it seemed legit, so I gave him my money.

Sure enough, the ticket was authentic, and the four of us got into the park for $15 when the original ticket price would have been $42... The man that had sold us the tickets came up to us after we entered the park and told us that he really liked our t-shirts, that were all really Catholic (mine said "Catholicism: Pass It On!").

Throughout the day at Cedar Point, I saw many eyes wander onto the text and images present on my t-shirt and on the t-shirts of my friends. Though not all of the people that read them had the same impression this man at the gate did, it was one amazing way to witness our Faith to our Brothers and Sisters in Christ!

Never, ever lose sight of any opportunity to spread the word, no matter how basic that opportunity may seem! It can be as simple as wearing a t-shirt to advanced as devoting your life to God's will through a religious vocation. You can witness through what you say, but witnessing through how you live is far more effective because it requires more effort and more care. Make sure Christ is the center of your life, and go spread His Word!

ARS Conference

2004-08-10T17:40:00.000-05:00

This past weekend, I attended a retreat called ARS (America Returns to the Sacraments). It was an amazing retreat experience for adults and youth alike. Many wonderful speakers were in attendance along with an awesome Praise & Worship band, the Pete Cornelius Experience! Overall I had a great time on this retreat weekend; it was a fantastic time of discernment for me in my life, and a break much needed from the rigors of daily life.

On this retreat (the theme was "Live Out Loud" and dwelt a lot on living uncomfortably for Christ), I could not help but think to myself: "If I can live my life entirely for Christ, then why not...?" I don't know what the Dear Lord has in store for me, but whatever it is, I am totally open to His Will in my life.

That all having been said, I encourage all of you to check out some sort of retreat experience this year! They are amazing ways to refresh you in your faith, don't miss them!

Congratulations are in order!

2004-08-06T23:43:00.000-05:00

Today, a very good friend of mine took his simple vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience in the Franciscan order. He was very very excited for this day, and to tell you the truth, his excitement for this event spilled out onto me! I couldn't wait for the Mass this morning (which also happens to be the feast day of the transfiguration of Christ)! The service was absolutely beautiful! When I saw the huuuuuuge smile on my friends face, I just couldn't contain the joy within myself! Without any further adieu...

Congratulations Friar Matt! Simple Vows ~ August 6th, 2004

Chinese Proverb Once Say...

2004-08-05T01:24:00.000-05:00

I was reading some of the posts on a friends blog (Being! or Nothingness) and I located this quiz to find out what book of the Bible you are... Without any further adieu, I present to you, my results:

If you would like to take the quiz yourself, just click here

A Great Prayer of Devotion

2004-08-04T13:34:00.000-05:00

Ok, today, as I finished up my Rosary, I stumbled across perhaps the greatest prayer of all time! It goes a little something like this:

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen!

Now, that may seem like a pretty ordinary, dull prayer, but think about what is meant by it:

Dear God, what I am about to say or do shall be done in Your Most Holy Name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit!

How awesome is that?!? It humbles us and allows us to consecrate what we are about to do or say to God, and not our human selves!

Now, let's go one step further... What if we say this prayer with all sincerity at the beginning and end of each day...? We would be offering complete consecration of our day and all we do or have done to Christ. All the joy, peace, Grace, temptation, and struggles: we can surrender them to God.

This little prayer is packed with such devotion! It's a simple prayer that offers us one amazing challenge: To live our lives always for Christ, through the good and the bad.

Let Go, Let God

2004-08-03T17:50:00.000-05:00

I was bouncing around online today when I stumbled across this phrase on about three different websites: Let go, Let God. After having seen it three times, I decided to take a second to reflect on that phrase.

How important it is to let go, and let God in our lives! Too often, as humans, we feel that we should constantly be the ones in control of it all. We get so wrapped up in the things of this world that we forget all about God and what He wants for us. We let material things consume us and cloud up our minds. We indulge in fantasies and untruths. But letting go of all material goods humbles a person.

Letting go of what this world has to offer us in acknowledgement of God's loving presence is something that we can all benefit from. Letting God steer us in life is a practice that will bear many fruits, because God can see much clearer what is better for us than we ever could.

It is hard to surrender our lives to God because, as humans, we are full of doubt, and we'd rather trust in what we can feel, and what we can see. But God works on a different level. Trusting in God releases Grace into our lives. It is by this Grace that we find strength and fulfillment, a spiritual nourishment, if you will. And then, if that's not enough, God goes one step further for us! He gives us that tangible sign of His Love for us by giving us His Son in the Holy Eucharist! Truly, this meal with God is nourishment for our souls.

So, as we walk about this world and all its material promises, know that it is in God that we shall find true fulfillment, and it is with the Grace of God that we shall find true strength and comfort.

RebirthFlame...? What's that name about...?

2004-08-03T10:18:00.000-05:00

Yeah... My ID here, RebirthFlame, might seem slightly unusual to those of you who haven't a clue where it originated. I can assure you, however, that it isn't too complicated.

Rebirth, the first half of my name, originated from my reawakening to my Faith, Roman Catholicism. In the past, I could have cared less about what I believed. But, through the Grace of God, a fire (hint, hint)rekindled in my heart, and I began to explore my Faith and to learn with a reborn fervor. I have taken my Faith and made it what defines me.

I know the story sounds kinda cheezy, but the name when it's all said and done is pretty cool, don't you think...?

Hope that clarifies a little bit...

The Grace of Devotion

2004-08-02T20:12:00.000-05:00

Ok, ok, so you guys might be wondering, "Hey RebirthFlame, what's up with that title...? It's, um... funky... and, well... strange..."

Simply put, I am a man of devotion. My faith is my being. Without a devotion to my faith, I would be nothing. I would be the farthest thing from God, who is Grace and Love. But devotion produces many Graces, and I cling to these Graces to give me strength and to aid me in my goal of obtaining eternal life and living with the Father in Heaven forever.

I hope that suffices... If you have any comments, just post 'em. I doubt anyone will read this anyways... :D